Call of the Simpsonsyet again
by JennaWrites
Summary: The Simpsons go camping at some place called Indian Rock. And Bart has conflicts with Jessica Lovejoy once again. Will they survive the great outdoors? Will Bart escape from the clutches of Jessica? Will the family get along on this trip!
1. Chapter 1

Call of the Simpsons

By JennaWrites

Chapter 1: The Adventure Begins

One sunny afternoon, Homer was resting in the hammock.

Homer sighed, "Ahh, what perfect day. It's just my hammock, a duff, and me.

No work. No boy (Bart). But most importantly, no Flanders".

"Did you call my name neighboroonie?" Flanders asked on the other side of the fence. Homer complained, "Doh! Stupid Flanders! Now my afternoon is ruined!"

Flanders said "Well Homer, not meaning to be such a bother but…"

"Too late", Homer replied.

"But shouldn't you be at work today?" Flanders asked.

Then Homer got up, thinking of an excuse why he isn't at work.

"Uhh… my boss is sick today, so work was cancelled".

"Aww, what a shame", Flanders said feeling bad for Homer's boss, Mr. Burns.

"Well could tell your boss for me to feel better? See ya".

Homer laid back on the hammock, and Homer muttered "Pftt, right up my…"

Flanders then came back and added, "Oh, by the way Homer, would you like to come to watch me help tearing down the church, I'm bringing the crane there?"

"You, tearing the church? HA! Ya, right Flanders. The church is your soul!" Homer joked.

"Well, actually, we're only tearing down a portion of the church so we can build a much larger addition, that way we'll have more room for the homeless and alcoholics," said Flanders.

"Stupid Flanders, helping the ones in need." Homer muttered.

"So would you like to come?" asked Flanders.

"Oh, Flanders, I'd love to, but I have a tight schedule today." Homer said acting sorry he couldn't come.

Homer thought of his plans "Eat, sleep, have a duff, sitting on my a-s-s watching TV, and then eat and sleep some more".

"Well I don't blame you, I bet you're a hard worker. You'd probably be pooped after today" replied Flanders.

Homer got up to his feet and angrily "Are you calling me lazy!"

"No Homer, I'm not calling you…" said Flanders.

"After all I've done for you? I have a mug that says 'World's Greatest Neighbor', but now you're insulting me!" Homer shouted.

"Homer! You're misunderstood me!" said Flanders.

"Well, I'll prove I'm not lazy. I'll do two hundred push-ups everyday. Heck, I'll even drive your stupid crane to church!" stated Homer.

Homer jumped over the fence into Flanders's driveway.

Then he got into the crane, and Flanders ran over to him and asked "Homer, wait! Are you sure you know how to operate this type of machinery?"

Homer replied, "Don't be such a wimp Flanders! Of course I know. It's easy as riding a tricycle. You just have to learn that everything isn't that hard".

Then Homer accidentally pushed the gear forward while he was talking to Flanders, and the crane jerked forward, speeding into the street.

Homer was startled, but acting like he meant to drive the crane out of the driveway at amazing speed. "See, Flanders, there's nothing to it!"

"Homer, look out!" shouted Flanders.

Homer turned his head around and saw that he was speeding towards a woman taking her baby on a walk in a baby carriage.

"Ahhhhh!" Homer screamed.

Luckily, Homer turned the crane in another direction, missing them.

Then the crane started to spin uncontrollably down the street.

Homer yelled "Flanders, HELP!"

Homer kept trying to stop the crane from spinning by turning a different direction after each second.

Finally the crane went smoothly straight again.

"Whew," Homer said relieved.

Then Homer looked up and realized that the crane was now speeding towards his house.

Homer shrieked "Ahhhhhhh!"

"Homer! You have to push the red handle foward in order for the crane to stop!" shouted Flanders.

Homer quickly found the red handle and pushed it foward.

The crane made a sharp stop at least two feet away from the house.

"Whew, that was close," Homer said in relief.

But because of the sudden stop, the wrecking ball swung forward, and crashed into the house.

"DOH!" said Homer.

Homer climbed out of the crane to see how bad the house was damaged.

The wrecking ball crashed through all of the family's bedrooms.

"Oh no! What do I do, what do I do, what do I do!" Homer said apprehensively.

Then Homer said more calming to himself "Don't panic Homer. It's not all that bad. Marge and the kids aren't home yet from the grocery store, and insurance can take care of the damages."

Then Homer saw a letter on the ground and said "Hey, what's this," Homer asked.

He opened the letter and read it.

Then he screamed "MY HOUSE INSURANCE IS EXPIRED!"

Homer fainted, and then he was in a fetal position, shivering in fear.

"So that's why those letters kept coming in," he said nervously.

Then he got up and said to himself "Okay, so there is no help from insurance, but at least Marge and the kids aren't home yet".

"Uh, Homer, isn't that your family driving up our street", Flanders asked.

Looked up and saw Marge driving down the street in her station wagon.

"Aahhhhhh!" Homer shrieked.

"Oh, Marge is going kill me! Or much worse, DIVORCE ME!" Homer said all panicky, "I can't let her see the house!"

Homer ran towards the car, and then leapt in front of it.

Marge and kids saw Homer and screamed "Aaaahhhh!"

Homer screamed too "Aaaaahhhhhhhhhh!"

Homer fell to the ground, and frozen in terror.

Then the car stopped suddenly.

Homer got up from the ground and said, "Uh, hi."

"Homer! What in the world were you thinking!" Marge said.

"Uh, uh…" Homer said nervously.

"And why do you look so nervous Homer?" asked Bart.

"Uh, uh…" Homer said.

Homer suddenly had an idea, he said, "The Simpsons are going camping!"

The kids cheered "Yay!"

Marge said in glee "That's great Homie, when?"

Homer said "Uh, right now!"

"But shouldn't we pack?" Lisa asked.

"I already packed for you," Homer said.

"Okay then, we'll go get it," Marge said as her and the kids were about to get out of the car.

"NO!" Homer screamed in terror, "Uh, I mean I'll get it."

Homer went inside the half demolished house get what was left in there. Then he came back with the luggage and the cat and the dog and entered the car.

"We're bringing SLH (Santa's Little Helper) and Snowball II with us?" Marge asked.

"Uh, of course. Kennels are expensive, and Grandpa is so old school." Homer answering Marge's question.

"Hey! I'm not old school!" said Grandpa.

(We see Grandpa wearing clothes that was hip when he was a kid).

"So which campsite are we going to Dad?" asked Lisa.

"Uh… why don't you choose honey."

"Well I always wanted to go to Indian Rock. It's a has a great activities, and it's a national landmark."

Homer said "Then Indian Rock it is."

Homer floored it and the adventure begins.

"Is just me, or did I see some smoky mist outside by our house?" asked Bart.

"Uh, uh… why are we listening to this Old MacDonald crap? Now here's some real music." Homer said.

Homer popped out the Maggie's Old MacDonald CD, and popped in a Rolling Stones CD.

Maggie glares at Homer.

"Hey, there's no one else complaining, sister," Homer said to Maggie.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Welcome to Indian Rock

It's been an hour since the Simpson family was on the road, and some of them are losing it. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" Bart repeated a hundred times. "NO!!!!!" shouted Homer, Marge, and Lisa. "I was just asking. I can't help being so impatient. Lisa how long from now will we get to this "rock place"?" "Another hour," Lisa stated. "But it's just been an hour already," Bart complained. "Come to think of it, we should have been there by now," Lisa replied. "Homer, I think we've been driving in circles," Marge said. "Don't be silly Marge, as man of the house, he never gets lost," Homer replies. "Dad we passed that oak tree with the face three times," Lisa claimed. Bart added, "Don't forget the bush that looks like Patty LaBelle". Marge said to Homer, "Homer, why don't admit that we're lost? We could just ask for directions". "The man of the house doesn't need directions! He can do anything," Homer said with pride.

Bart mutters to Lisa, "You call passing out when trying to reach down to the remote is he can do anything?" "Why you little…" Homer said. Homer reached over to Bart, and start strangling him. "Homer, the wheel!" Marge yelled. Homer gasped "Ah!" Homer starts turning the steering wheel, which caused the car to go through some woods. "LOOK OUT!" yelled Marge, Lisa, and Bart. Homer kept dodging trees as they drove into the woods. As he was, the car was coming up to a cliff. "CLIFF!!!" shouted the whole Simpson family.

"Stop the car Homer!" Bart shouted. Homer replied to Bart, "I can't! The dumb dog's chew toy is under the stop the car thingy!" The toy would squeak as Homer tried to hit the brakes. As the car was 10 ft. away from the rim, Homer said to Marge "Goodbye Marge, we'll just have to do our vacation in heaven. I heard it's more romantic up there." Marge replied, "Oh, just kiss me you big lug!" Marge and Homer then kissed their last kiss. As the car rode over the cliff the whole family screamed and the cat and dog hid under the backseat "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Then a second later, the car landed with a huge thud.

"Wha?" Homer said very confused. Everyone in the car turned their heads around, and saw that the cliff was only 3 ft. fall. They saw a ranger next to the small cliff with some people taking pictures of it, "See America's smallest natural cliff. Only a 3 ft. fall, also known as the entrance of Indian Rock". The family saw a sign that says, "Welcome to Indian Rock" "Homie, we made it!" Marge said relieved. Homer said in pride "Yep. And also may I remind you that this time, we made it without a problem". "Uh oh. Santa's Little Helper peed on the back seat," said Lisa. "Doh!"

As the family got out of the car, they saw the stunning wilderness landscape, and admired it. It even seemed Homer admired the beauty of Mother Nature too. He said admirably "Wow, the International House of Pancakes." He was staring at an IHOP somewhere in the landscape.

The Simpsons walked toward a reservation booth. The person in the booth was a Native American. "Welcome Simpson Family". The whole family gasped. "How did you know us?" asked Lisa. "I saw you on the headline on the Springfield Shopper". The headline on the newspaper said **"Oafish Man Tried to Fire at Endangered Bird"**. There was a photo of Homer getting arrested with the bird on his head pecking at him, with his family in the background looking embarrassed, except Bart who was smiling. "It looked like a chicken," Homer said pathetically. "Did you make a reservation at Indian Rock?" he asked. Homer replied "Ya." The Native American looked at his computer at the booth searching for Simpson, "Okay. Staying for two weeks, at campsite 1A, at Drunken Weasel Campgrounds" The whole family looked at Homer. "I was the best I could afford," Homer said sheepishly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I should introduce myself," said the Native American, "My name is One Who Runs Around Trees Twenty Times, Hops on Rabbits and Squirrels, Climbs Up Mountain Full of Mountain Lions and Grizzly Bears, Howls and Bites With Coyotes, Digs Tunnels to Find the Lost Moleman Lair, and Leaps Over Canyon Without Falling," said the Native American, "But you can call me George". "Hi George!" said the Simpson family. "Here a map of the campsites and a golf car to drive around the campsite," said George, "And keep your pets leased at all times. There's only one trail they're allowed to be on. Oh, and any of you don't think about "going" in the fire pit!". "Aww!" moaned Homer and Bart.

After George giving the Simpson Family the stuff, a bald eagle mysteriously swooped down at George's shoulder. The family awed in amazement, Bart asked "Is that your pet eagle?" "Yes it is," George replied, "Thank you for bringing my dry cleaning Pepsi. Here's your reward". George reached a live weasel from his pocket. He tossed it towards the eagle and it swallowed it whole. The family stared at George strangely. "What?" he asked.

The family loaded their luggage and the pets on to the golf car and drove to their campsite. "Homer we've been driving for 15 minutes now, and don't tell us we're not lost because we are," Marge said. "Oh, Marge. You just have to learn that I'm the genius, and you're the simple-minded one." Lisa suddenly spoke up "Dad, Dad, you're driving on somebody's campsite!"

"Ah!"

"Here we go again," muttered Bart.

As soon as the family on the campsite saw the car, they dashed out of the car's way, letting it run over everything, completely destroying the campsite. Homer was having a hard a time steering, seeing that the car was going REALLY fast and was trying dodging objects on peoples' campsites (tents, grills, etc.)"Homer! Get back on the road!" Marge said yelling at Homer. "I can't!" Homer frighteningly replied, "But don't worry, I have a plan!"

Homer hesitated for a couple of seconds, until the family found themselves in the woods again. "SAVE ME JEBUS!" screamed Homer. Then out of the blue, the car hit a tree. Everyone's air bags blew up, except Homer's causing him to hit the dash board. (Note: All of you would be dead, right? Well, surprisingly you're wrong. As you see in the cartoon world, they don't believe in "The Law of Physics." Go figure. So Homer didn't actuality go through the dashboard window. Instead he hit his head on the wheel only causing a bump. My mistake.) Finally after a couple of seconds, Homer's air bags blew up hard, practically smothering Homer. "D'OH!"

"Homer, are you all right!" Marge asked worriedly. Homer finally woke up and said, "Fine? I'm not fine. I'm great! Hey Marge, when did you have blue spots all over your body?" Suddenly Bart slapped his dad's face, "Wake up Homer!" Astonishingly Homer regained consciousness. Then raised his arms and yelled "WHY YOU LITTLE!" and starts strangling Bart, "I'll teach you to help me regain consciousness!"


End file.
